Sometimes I feel lost, pointlessly searching for answers to questions, which do not seem to matter anymore. Life has become a constant routine, measured by an individuals level of motivation, but governed by who you know. One moment everything is as it should be, life going the way it was intended. In the next breath, it is as if everything matters all at once, and everything must all be figured out NOW.
There are other times where I find myself just watching, observing, almost imagining what it would be like to be someone else. Watching how other people are making it through life. Picking someone out of a crowd, creating a whole fictional story, in my head, to go along with this person. Seeing the hurt in their eyes, the stress weighing on their shoulders, or even just observing the way they carry themselves. It is an easy temptation to fall into. How it must feel to own a certain object we do not already have. Longing to to have the body figure we have always wanted. Everyone always wants what they do not have, right? It is easy to forget how to live in your own skin.
I fear for the world we live in now, everyone is so isolated from each other. Does any one on this planet even remember there is such a thing as a human race? There are other individuals with their own lives, thoughts, needs, desires, and opinions which we coexist with on this planet. Maybe our ideas and beliefs do not agree with someone else’s, but that does not mean they are wrong. Agree to disagree then move on. A big part of this problem, I believe, is technology. It has taken over such a big role in our everyday lives. Friendship is only requesting over social media. Forget about hanging out with friends. Walk in to any restaurant, almost everyone is on their cell phone. When did we decide that we would rather look at a screen, than have actual contact with another person?
Life use to be full of such connection and closeness. Now, most of the population is concerned about all of their social media accounts. I was out to lunch with a friend last week; looking around, there was not one table having a conversation without a person having a cellphone in their hand. To be fair, it was lunch time with not many people in this coney. Still, when did we become so caught up in ourselves? We can’t even put the phone down through a lunch, to enjoy the company of a friend, with them sitting right in front of us?
Though it does seem easy to picture, when life it’s self has become an endless cycle set on repeat. The older I become, the more I feel as if time is slipping away so quickly. It feels like yesterday was the fourth of July. Every day blurring into the next. Wake up, Eat, Work, Eat, Home, Eat, Sleep……Repeat. At least, when we were children we had summer break to look forward to. What do we have to look forward to as adults?
Though the little things get us by. I love writing in my hammock. listening to the leaves rustle, as the wind runs through them. Kicking and pushing, causing the beautiful chorus of summer. Hearing the birds chirping endlessly around me. The sun warming my back until a cloud passes by, shielding it’s rays. After a few minutes, the cloud passes, the bugs rejoice loudly as the rays begin to warm us once again. It’s finding the little things that make us happy to keep life balanced.
My passion has always been reading, it just took me awhile to figure it out. Once my love for reading took hold, I’ve always had a book in front of my face. Now, with the help of some really great websites, I am reading more than I ever have, the library is my best friend. I am at there at least three times a month. The librarians know me on a first name basis. I am running out of places to store all of my books. So instead of buying them, I just borrow them and return them. I’m sure my family appreciates it too.
Now that it is August, I have a lot of work to do to stay on top of my reading goal for the year. It is always good to stay on top of your goals. Now that we are into the second half of the year, remember to take a look back at what your own yearly goals were. It is easy to fall off track with certain goals, life tends to get in the way. Usually by February-March-ish we tend to even forget we had a New Year’s Resolution all together. There is still time left this year to get those goals met!
I love the website GoodReads.com. Not only can you search books, but you can see what other readers are saying about books through book reviews and ratings. This year I set my reading goal at 25 books. This goal is a little light for me, but I was finishing up my second degree. I had a lot going on in my personal life, where I did not have the time for leisure activities. I wanted to set a reasonable goal for myself for this year.
As I grow older, I am realizing I have an obsession with words. I have kept a journal most of my life. I love being able to twist words in a way to create something beautiful. Now that I have the time to be able to set time aside to work on have a functioning blog, I am going for it. By next year I want to be a fully running blog with a consistent posting schedule. Stay on top of your goals my friends, and you will be unstoppable.
The more that these migraines grip to control my brain, the more out of control that I feel. I do everything that the doctors say to do; yet here I am every day, gut wrenching pain from the minute my eyes open in the morning, to the minute I finally fall asleep at night.
I am still hoping that one day I will find something that will at least help to subside the pain. To be able to enjoy life without having to turn off all the lights, turn down the volume to my favorite song, or having to put the roof up on the convertible because the sun is too bright.
I am waiting for the day when I do not have to worry about how bad my migraine is on how I live my life. Until then, only positive energy is going to get me through this tough time.
In all the rustle and bustle of everyday life it is hard to remember to take the time to do something for yourself. I work a job that I love, but I cannot wait to get home after a long day and just enjoy my little slice of personal paradise. I am a huge nature lover and a reader. I love to sit where I can hear the birds chirping, let the sun wash over me, while I let my mind be immersed in the latest adventure that I picked up from the library. Do not forget to take time for yourself. You are the only person that is going to take care of you. Even if it is just five minutes of quiet away from the rest of the people in your house.
What did you do for yourself today?