As life changes so do the people who we trust. The people in our tight group change just as life changes. For me, this was a very hard transition in my life. It is not easy to leave a person behind even though it is the right thing to do.
This was the hardest decision of my life. Saying goodbye to someone who use to know all your secrets, to someone who you thought would never leave, someone you laughed and cried with, someone who you thought would always have your back.
Then one day it is as if a wave comes out of no where and knocks you over. Being suspended in the water, not knowing where you are or how long the water is going to hold you under. Feeling the water push, you farther and farther down, not knowing what is up and what is down. Fighting with all of their energy to get back above the water, only to be pushed under again by another wave. Still holding their breath, feeling the burning in their lungs and in their throat. As the salt water licks its way around their mouth. Their lungs begging for air. But eventually the wave recedes back into the ocean. Right when the person thought they couldn’t handle any more. The water is calm again, and it is as if it never happened. The only evidence that it even happened is with the person. They can still feel their heart beating, trying to catch a breath while getting the salt water out of their mouth. The wave left a hug impact on the person, but the person will be ok. Once they get out of the ocean and are able to catch their breath their life continues to go on as normal. Little by little the incident of the wave isn’t on the person’s mind so much. Maybe years later when visiting an ocean, they might remember the incident. The incident that they thought would change everything about their life, that they would never be the same again.
In a way everything did change. But the person changed without even knowing it. Soon life doesn’t seem as difficult. Everything around you that you have seen every day just seems different and new. The whole world around you is seen in a whole new way. Soon new friends are made, some stay and some leave. But after awhile there is one, one that doesn’t go away. One that you find yourself telling everything too. Soon you two have inside jokes, and secrets. Then before you even realize it you are inseparable.
It is not that you have forgotten your old memories, but more that is all they are now, memories. Memories that shaped you into the person that you are today. Memories that will sometimes find their way into your brain, and you can’t help it but you find yourself just smiling. It is always crazy to look back and see just how much life has changed.